april 2026: birthdays and body mods
no april fool’s jokes here. probably.
Howdy everyone,
It’s April! 25% of the year has gone by, but when I think about that aloud after seeing so many of those go-getter productivity types (and the products/lifestyles they’re inevitably selling), I can’t help but feel that that’s a really futile way to think about time. Almost gleefully wishing it away, or rushing it by. Injecting a bit of urgency, urgency that translates to fear, fear that can only be slaked by trying a new way to get a handle on the life that’s slipping through your fingers too quickly to control it.
Not helping, huh?
I like being productive as much as the next person, and I, too, feel overwhelmed by the fact that I will not write every book I have an idea for or read every book that has ever been written. Sometimes I’m paralyzed out of doing anything at all because it means I’ll have to give up doing something else. And that, of course, makes me feel even better. No guilty spirals there.
When I’m on a good run, though, I find that I can take real joy in knowing that I have chosen one thing and not another. I remember that each decision I make for myself, each “this” and not “that,” is a moment that I’m creating my own unique and individual self, this singular life. Inimitable. To mold myself out of the choices I make; yes, even the regrets.
Related, one of those choices I made recently was the choice to get top surgery. That was the first surgery I got this year and the one that I’ve been recovering from.
Because it’s such a personal thing, I wanted to keep it close to my chest (har har) while I went through it. To follow the feelings where they led me. Most resoundingly, that feeling has been joy. Excitement. Euphoria. All of that. But suffice it to say that recovery has gone well and I’ve spent a lot of the last 1.5 months gleefully shouting “I have no boobs!” and asking my friends if they “want to see my tits.” There are still months of healing to go, and I can’t even lift weights properly for a few more weeks, but I have gone on my first few jogs and I no longer have to wear the post-op binder, so we’re winning.
It was not originally part of my plans for this year, when I was winding things down to a close in November, December. But…sometimes you have to change direction mid-sentence.
On that note, yesterday was Trans Day of Visibility, and as it becomes more and more dangerous to be trans or even just generally gender non-conforming, it’s important to remember that visibility alone isn’t the point. The point is for people who don’t understand or don’t think the hate and transphobic legislative moves has anything to do with them to realize—you have an outsized impact on the well-being of the marginalized. Your support, or worse, your silence, can change lives.
I also got TWO new swords! One, some of you might remember when I was designing it way back last autumn as a reward for a three-book publication year/finishing a whole trilogy. That’s the arming sword on the right. The other, the messer on the left, was a surprise gift from a dear friend to celebrate the chopping of my boobs (which was not done with the sword in question)(or any sword).
Writing
On the work front, I enjoyed drafting a proposal for a future trilogy, so I’ll be working on that with my agent in the near future. I have so so so many ideas for that and they keep coming—think Between Two Fires meets The Mighty Nein. Right now, my primary headspace is working on Fell Runner, because I would like to have the deck really cleared before I start re-reading Warmongers. I want to divide my attention as little as possible while I work on it.
Fell Runner continues to be a tricky one. It’s less conventional, so apart from the doubts that creep in about the book’s public reception, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering—is it doing what I want it to do? What do I want it to do? I have certain instincts that are throwing flags up at certain points of the story, and so I’m digging into those feelings and trying to pick apart the reasoning (surely, I think to myself, there must be a logical reason for these intangible feelings). I push away the doubts about other people’s opinions. Nothing good lies down that road.
Instead, I’m reading. The Living Mountain by Nan Shepherd, about the Cairngorms, some other mountains, and Signs Preceding the End of the World, by Yuri Herrera, which I honestly know very little about, but it speaks to me and is doing something similar with formatting that I am trying out. So I will listen.
The Unbroken is 5 Years Old!
Last week, March 23, The Unbroken turned 5!
My debut has been out FIVE YEARS. Which means five years we’ve been hanging out, for some of you. (Some of you are new, welcome, welcome.)
To celebrate, I wrote about some of the things I learned over the last five years AND I’m holding a little GIVEAWAY here (and on instagram).
The giveaway includes a few copies of the audiobook of The Sovereign and most importantly…
three posters of the iconic Tommy Arnold covers—one for each book.
I’ll do the drawings at the end of the week, so head over to the birthday post and follow the rules there.
Locus Magazine
Finally, I want to give a little shout-out to Locus Magazine. It’s one of the few print mags we still have in the genre-sphere that is doing industry news. It also has interviews, criticism, reviews—it’s an important staple and a great way to hear about new books. I have a print subscription myself, and highly recommend subscribing digitally or otherwise.
They’ve also been massively instrumental to my own work, one of two venues that have reviewed all of my books. They also featured me for an interview. They’re great at championing the underdogs and take into account the whole field of the genre—not just the top 10 hits that rise to the top of social media.
You can help them continue their good work by checking out their fundraiser. They have so many rewards—from signed books and tuckerizations to zoom chats and critiques with authors. Not to mention the warm fuzzies of supporting the diversity of thoughtful voices in the industry.
So cheers for that.
That’s all from me, now.
Stay sharp,
C. L.
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